A Quiet Goodbye

It has been awhile since I’ve felt lost and floundering in what exactly I should do with my blog. I thought about turning it into a blog for teachers, or reading, or gardening, or parenting, but none of them felt quite right.

My blog has been a weekly part of my life for the last couple of years. It has been a way of processing my thoughts and feelings, of reaching out to others, of getting and giving support. It has been a great comfort at times, but recently it has felt like a burden.

My sleep has continued to be a huge challenge over the past few years and with the added pressure of the ever changing pandemic lifestyle, my blog often feels like one more thing to juggle.

Then, this evening, I sat down to write my blog and had the most revolutionary idea ever.

I could just not write a blog anymore.

As soon as I had the thought I felt it seed itself in my mind and start to grow roots. I felt a wash of sadness, a bit of shame and guilt and then a wonderful shower of relief.

There are lots of things that I find hard that I have to do right now (particularly finding ways to teach grade 3/4 French Immersion remotely in a meaningful way). Writing a blog every week isn’t something I have to do, it is something I can let go.

Right now, I don’t want to devote more time to my computer, I don’t want to be on social media trying to figure out why 400 people read my blog one week and only 26 read it the next.

Instead, I want to focus on spending my time doing things that bring joy into my life. I want to read in my hammock, work in my garden, walk in the woods with my wife, and communicate more (in whatever means is allowed) with my friends and family.

If I spend time writing (or revising), I want to be working on the worlds in my head. I want to explore the way that reality and magic can weave together into a seamless quilt of adventure, hardship and triumph.

I’ve had enough of whatever version of reality is being filtered out through the various medias that dominate our lives. When I write, I want to escape to the part of my mind where imagination breathes new life into the everyday. Where anything is possible.

This doesn’t mean that I will never write another blog, it just means, for right now, that I am tipping my hat to you, sending love and gratitude for your time as a reader and saying a quiet goodbye.